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I finally got around to posting an outfit of the day!…yikes… It’s been a long time since I’ve had the courage to model in front of the camera. Mainly because I have gained weight and I’ve had no desire to showcase these extra pounds. Most of the weight is due to medication, which causes all sorts of hormone changes and slows down my metabolism. I feel so sluggish and achy some days. Another problem is I don’t have as much energy as I use to,thanks to chemo and radiation. My body has seen the worst of times over this past year. It use to be effortless to take pictures and feel confident. Now I’m worried about covering up scars and ways to hide my weight gain, it’s exhausting.
I wasn’t motivated to lose the weight until recently. I was stuck, I ate more, didn’t exercise and felt tired all the time. It was a horrible feeling. At first I thought I was putting back on the weight I lost during treatment. Then it just crept up on me and wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was uncomfortable all the time. Nothing fit and I refused to go shopping for larger sizes. I decided to join the gym, I go 3-4 times a week, for at least two hours, thankfully the pounds are slowly melting away and my energy is coming back. I feel better overall, I guess exercise really does the body good.
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I had a latissimus Dorsi Flap procedure in October of last year. I have yet to complete my reconstruction. I’ve put it off for months because I was tired of being carved up. Cancer really sucks!..nothing worse than having scars all over and breasts that have no sensation. I have one temporary tissue expander in my left boob and an actual silicon implant in the other. The whole experience has been one crazy emotional mess.
I feel like there is no plan for life after treatment. When I started out, there was a plan, a diet, a routine, it sucked but it was a “road map” to recovery. I don’t know that I will ever get use to life after treatment. I was lost for a while, I found it hard to adjust, which is weird because I’m usually in control and adapt to change easily.
I’m not going to complain though, I know countless women who have metastatic breast cancer (stage IV) terminal cancer that will be in treatment for the rest of there lives. Having any terminal disease is a tough reality to live with daily. My heart goes out to them.
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I try stay focused and positive. It helps with depression and survivors guilt. I wanted to get back to doing something I love to do. Fashion has always been one of my favorite hobbies so I wanted to get back to blogging. These days I look for fit and comfort when choosing pieces for my wardrobe. I go for clothes with higher necklines, loose fit, and patterns that compliment my style. I’ve always loved a pair of jeans and pumps, it just works well for different occasions. I’ve had the jacket for a while, it’s by Loft, see a similar style here. The bag and pumps were affordable pieces from T.J. Maxx. The blouse is from spring of last year, I purchased it at Kohl’s.
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I hope you enjoy the pictures and as always, thanks for stopping by…XO!

 

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