I remember when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. I thought that I would never see myself the same way again. The funny thing is I don’t, I had lost my hair a few weeks into treatment and I immediately began losing weight. I was stressed all the time, I thought about death all the time, and I worried all the time. It took about a year to move on and I imagine it will take a lifetime to adjust to all the changes.
Truth is one day you wake up and you realize that your still here. All your friends will move on and
the out pour of attention from your initial diagnosis to the end of treatment will slowly dissipate. In the beginning of treatment everyone wants to know how they can help. When you complete treatment, they assume your fine because you look healthier. It’s all one big misconception, I’ve watched women with terminal cancer look like they never had the disease to begin with so the saying ” don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is the best cliche phrase to describe breast cancer. Did you know that decades later this disease can return? It’s horrible to think that after poisonous treatments like chemo and radiation, the treatment process would have to be repeated. It’s the kind of reality that no one should ever have to face especially since it’s likely to return as stage IV terminal cancer.
The word “terminal” is so chilling, just imagine there never being an end to treatment. I’m sure you’ve all seen adults and children in your news feed on Facebook holding signs that read ” Today is my last chemo” in celebration of the end of treatment or at least one part of treatment. Can you imagine there never being an end? Can you imagine doing chemo and radiation for as long as your body is able to hold up? Once you become terminal, that is the plan. People living with metastatic breast cancer will go from one treatment to another until it either stops working or you stop working, meaning death.
How does anyone live a “normal” life knowing that death is right around the corner because there is no cure. There is so much emphasis placed on building awareness but so little goes towards actual research to find a cure! It’s infuriating to see how much money so many non profits raise each year but there are still hundreds of men and women dying from the disease everyday. If you really want to make a difference support organizations like Metavior
! It’s one of the only organizations that puts the majority of your money towards research to find an actual cure.
Just imagine how many lives we could save!
As always thanks for stopping by I hope you love the pictures xoxo!
Blouse TJ Maxx
Shoes by NineWest sold at Ross
I finally got around to posting an outfit of the day!…yikes… It’s been a long time since I’ve had the courage to model in front of the camera. Mainly because I have gained weight and I’ve had no desire to showcase these extra pounds. Most of the weight is due to medication, which causes all sorts of hormone changes and slows down my metabolism. I feel so sluggish and achy some days. Another problem is I don’t have as much energy as I use to,thanks to chemo and radiation. My body has seen the worst of times over this past year. It use to be effortless to take pictures and feel confident. Now I’m worried about covering up scars and ways to hide my weight gain, it’s exhausting.
I wasn’t motivated to lose the weight until recently. I was stuck, I ate more, didn’t exercise and felt tired all the time. It was a horrible feeling. At first I thought I was putting back on the weight I lost during treatment. Then it just crept up on me and wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was uncomfortable all the time. Nothing fit and I refused to go shopping for larger sizes. I decided to join the gym, I go 3-4 times a week, for at least two hours, thankfully the pounds are slowly melting away and my energy is coming back. I feel better overall, I guess exercise really does the body good.
I had a latissimus Dorsi Flap
procedure in October of last year. I have yet to complete my reconstruction. I’ve put it off for months because I was tired of being carved up. Cancer really sucks!..nothing worse than having scars all over and breasts that have no sensation. I have one temporary tissue expander
in my left boob and an actual silicon implant in the other. The whole experience has been one crazy emotional mess.
I feel like there is no plan for life after treatment. When I started out, there was a plan, a diet, a routine, it sucked but it was a “road map” to recovery. I don’t know that I will ever get use to life after treatment. I was lost for a while, I found it hard to adjust, which is weird because I’m usually in control and adapt to change easily.
I’m not going to complain though, I know countless women who have metastatic breast cancer
(stage IV) terminal cancer that will be in treatment for the rest of there lives. Having any terminal disease is a tough reality to live with daily. My heart goes out to them.
I try stay focused and positive. It helps with depression and survivors guilt. I wanted to get back to doing something I love to do. Fashion has always been one of my favorite hobbies so I wanted to get back to blogging. These days I look for fit and comfort when choosing pieces for my wardrobe. I go for clothes with higher necklines, loose fit, and patterns that compliment my style. I’ve always loved a pair of jeans and pumps, it just works well for different occasions. I’ve had the jacket for a while, it’s by Loft, see a similar style here
. The bag and pumps were affordable pieces from T.J. Maxx. The blouse is from spring of last year, I purchased it at Kohl’s.
I hope you enjoy the pictures and as always, thanks for stopping by…XO!
It’s remix time again and my stripe blazer is getting all the play this time around. I love it because it goes so well with many pieces in my closet. I have quite a few blazers but this blazer is definitely one of my faves. The stripes are fun and it works well if you want to mix prints and wear it with pants or skirts.
which look do you prefer? & how would you have rocked the blazer?
Hi Beauties! It’s mid-week already and in a few days we will be celebrating Christmas. I’m still picking up some last minute gifts because as usual I always forget someone.
I’ll be wrapping gifts all day Saturday and I must admit that I love wrapping presents.
I enjoy finding not so typical wrapping paper that fits the persons personality that will be receiving the gift.
I look for really thoughtful gifts, with special quotes, poems, or images that have meaning to them. I love to see people happy, especially around the holidays.
This post will be my last one until after Christmas. I’m sure I’ll be too busy running around to snap pictures. This outfit is just a comfortable, yet stylish play on prints with a pop of color.
I hope you love the pictures, I had a beautiful day, hope you all did as well 😉
Hi Guys! Nothing beats a great pair of blue jeans. I’ve had this pair for several years and I’m so happy they still fit me.
I wore this outfit out for a little shopping and lunch on the weekend. I’m all for laid back looks on the weekend. It’s signature for me to rock a pair of blues, especially after being in a stuffy office atmosphere all week…Not complaining, happy to be gainfully employed 😉
I’ve worn the hell out of my cheetah pumps, there such staple pieces in my wardrobe cause they pair well with just about everything. I’m all about loose fitting tops so the red blazer and blouse were perfect compliments to the laid back look I was going for that day.
I love to dress up my looks with blazers in the fall because if it gets a little too warm out, I can just remove the blazer. The material was really light weight and I like the gathered look of the sleeves.
Thanks for stopping by and checking out my posts! Please feel free to leave a comment, I love to read your thoughts.
Playing around with colors is something that I love doing from time to time. Whether it’s my hair color, clothing, or shoes, I like to change things up and keep it interesting 😉
Color blocking is one of my fave trends cause honestly, it makes you think outside the box, outfits don’t have to be so matchy matchy all the time.
I’ve had this blue skirt for a while now, love the fit and the color is perfection. I originally bought the blazer to pair with some jeans for a more casual feel but it looks really good with the skirt. Overall it’s a ” lets meet for dinner” type of outfit, once you unwind just remove the blazer and the necklace ties everything together.
Hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend and this recent post!!